SAH (stay-at-home) Mom Confession: Out with Friends only Twice in 255 Days

We spent last weekend at my in-laws’ and I thought that it was a good day for me to go out for dinner with some friends of mine; ex-colleagues who I have been wanting to meet for sometime now.
While planning details, I kept telling them how excited I was about it. So one of them asked me why I was so thrilled about having dinner.
So I told her the truth. That this is only the second time I’m stepping out without baby, alone in over eight and a half months.
We laughed about how I only got to have a few hours to myself in 255 days! But that’s when it dawned on me. It really wasn’t funny. It made me realize how much I missed being myself, by myself.
I have always been very independent, doing my things on my own. I have lived away from home since I was 19 and I really enjoy my freedom.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my little girl very much. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes I feel hopelessly limited and trapped.
There are days when it really gets to me. It’s not that I hate being a mom. I love being Ahalya’s mom. But I also feel sad knowing that I have somehow lost a little of myself in the process.
So when my husband and mom-in-law agreed to watch the little one that night, I was over the moon!
I gave Ahalya her final feed, put her to sleep and got ready to leave. I felt a little nervous at the thought of leaving her behind, but I knew that she was going to have Daddy around – her favourite human and happy pill.
So I called a cab and left home close to 9 at night when she was fed and washed (my friends agreed to meet for late dinner just so I could make it – yes they’re awesome like that). I also pumped enough for her to last the night.
It felt weird to travel alone in a cab – weird in a good way. I kept thinking I needed to carry more bags – my arms felt too light. Sitting comfortably and eating a meal slowly somehow made me feel like something wasn’t right – only for a few minutes though!
And all in all, I had a wonderful time catching up, laughing, joking and just being my old self. I am so grateful for days like this.
I highly recommend a good dose of alone-time for stay at home moms. Twice in 8.5 months is too long a wait though. Once a month sounds heavenly to me right now.
And I’m waiting for next time impatiently!

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